Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Other things on my mind

(the post below this is from Sept 29th also, not August 3rd. it only took me 57 days to finish. please read that too, actually, if you were to only read one post in its entirely, please skip this one and read "the proverbs 31 man." thank you. Love, Brendan.)

The Beatitudes, learn them, love them.... live them. Matthew 5: 3-12 (my comments in parentheses)

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they inherit the earth. (The Beasties Boys rhyme this in "Shadrach". even the Beastie Boys use the bible in conversation. So can we.)

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. (BOOYAH!!!!)

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. (yesss)

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. (praying for a pure heart now, well, more earnestly.)

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons (or daughters) of God.

Blessed are those who are persecutes for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Monday, August 3, 2009

The Proverbs 31 Man

Wanting to go deeper into Proverbs 31 is something I've wanted to do for awhile. Some of these thoughts have been in me'noggin for a few months, others are fresh. I'm no pastor. Please take what I say with a grain of salt. I do make inferences and interpretations of the Bible in this blog. If something I have said is against the whole counsel of God, please please please tell me and I will modify/delete as necessary. Lastly, let me just say, I don't have it figured out. I need these words. Please do not be discouraged. The Lord is perfecting this good work of making us men into "kings" (Phil. 1:6) (and women into "queens"). When challenged by Him, we must recognize it and ask for help and enact change. "Strength rises for those who wait upon the Lord" (Isaiah 40... somewhere between 27 and 31). Anyway...

I was in Cottonwood, CA two months ago with some friends from the Grace Church UK team. We were going to a church to lead worship and solicite (maybe not right word choice?) prayer and financial support for our trip. Anyway, Proverbs was the theme of the summer in a lot of different ways. I overheard a conversation about Proverbs 31 where my buddy's mom exclaims "there is a Proverbs 31 man too!"

I loved that phrase "Proverbs 31 man" ....because it's so true.

Dudes read (and by "dudes read" i mean "I read") chapter 31 with some humor, (half) jokingly exclaiming "heck yes!" after certain verses (like 12, 15, and 27). But for a minute (or 10) I'll try to be serious.

Proverbs 31 is not entirely dedicated to the character of a good wife. Maybe it's just me who forgets that... over and over again. There are two sections of this 31-Man I want to look at. The first being verses 1-9 and the second, what's sporadically alluded to in verses 10 and on. I will be referring to the 31-man as "king" and the 31-woman as a "queen."

King Lemuel is the fortunate recipient of these words. They are from his mother; he is recalling her "oracle" (31:1). A king listens to his mother. Verse 3 is a strong warning, "Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings." I checked 4 versions (NLT, NASB, NIV, and ESV); they all said said "strength." A few things come to mind. Our strength, all of it, is meant for the Lord (Deut 6:5, and again in Matthew something and Mark 12:30). I would postulate that he is hearing a warning that calls to something deeper than just physical strength. A king should not give to a woman, nor find from a woman, that which makes him a man. "Lemuel, do not forsake who you are for women - you will be destroyed." She makes a similar case for "wine" and "strong drink" (v4). A king is not controlled by the intoxications of alcohol and/or women. Solomon wrote about this in detail in Ecclesiastes. Just as Lemuel's mother calls these destroyers of kings, so Solomon finds them meaningless (this is another blog for another day...). Lemuel is warned that if he succumbs to these temptations he will "...forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of the afflicted" (v5). Ouch. Basically, homie will become incompetent at his life's purpose and harm those around him, those whom he has swarn, as their king, to protect. This first section ends with an encouragement to speak for the mute (v8) and to judge righteously (v9). One (I) could say that "A king conducts their life with integrity" is an accurate summation of verses 1-9. A higher calling of service and life's work has superseded the king's wants and desires. Our kingdoms are not as easy to recognize as these Old Testament kings'. Our families, workplaces, bible studies, ministries, worship bands that we lead are crying out for our dedication. A dedication not unlike a king to his people.

(shifts gears)

Verse 10 begins the real meat or, salad I guess, of Proverbs 31. There are 5 verses I want to look at of this section. For reference, they are:

10: "An excellent wife, who can find? She is far more precious than jewels."

11: "The heart of her husbands trusts her and he will have no lack of gain."

23: "Her husband is known at the gates where he sits among the elders of the land."

28: "Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, he praises her."

29: "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."

There is another proverb that must be always, in opinion, be called to mind (sadly) when reading 31:10 and that is 20:6 "Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?" Ouch (again). There are some sweet Gospel implications of this verse (yet, another blog) but I will stick with the more apparent meaning. Many men proclaim to be kings, yet only a few kings are found. Just as a woman, if she desires to be a queen, aspires to the truth found in these verses 10-31, so must a man, if he desires to be a king, heed these truths. Recognizing our shortcomings and need for the grace of God surely must be the first step of becoming one of the few real kings (and queens). A king repents and relies upon the King.

Verse 11 is great. It's great because it's so freaking hard. The inner core of a king, his heart, trusts his wife. It doesn't quantify or qualify this trust with when or to what extent. To trust someone with something to relinquish control of it. Yes there are two parties to this trust; she must be trustworthy - that's her problem right now, not the king's. Are we willing, as men, as kings, to trust our queens? He is confident in her. He has faith in her. He doesn't treat her like a child or baby her along life.

The third verse of that list, v23, is my favorite. For it implies that the woman's character is not entirely up to her. "Her husband is known at the gates where he sits among the elders of the land." Beautiful. I remember being in a men's group/bible study/thing one time (early college, maybe high shcool?) and we were talking about this chapter and how we wanted our future wives to be queens. What makes an excellent wife (queen)? The answer is (partially) "an excellent husband." This husband is an "elder." First Timothy and Titus talk extensively about elders - leaders in the church - and their qualifications/character traits. Quite the list (1 Tim 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9): above reproach, faithful, sober-minded, self controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money, manages household well, with dignity keeping his children submissive, not a recent convert, well thought of by outsiders, not insubordinate, not debaucherous, lover of good, upright, holy, disciplined, holds firm to the trustworthy word and can rebuke those who contradict it. Wow. These are the traits and marks and qualities of a king, as the bible says. A king prays for, seeks and lives the elder-life.

One note, particularly after that exhaustive list: we are fallen. we are broken. we. are. sinners. With all humility and faith, we must beseech and ask the Lord for help, for grace, for mercy, that He might hasten his "perfecting work" (Phil 1:6) in us. We must ask Him that as He gives grace to us, that we would grow in giving grace to ourselves. to continue...

The last two verses are together: A king knows how to encourage a queen. (I'm going to steal from John Elderidge (he wrote Wild At Heart) for this paragraph a bit, and yes, I used parentheses inside of parentheses). There are questions that haunt every man "Am i strong?" Am I a man?" etc. and, likewise, there are questions that haunt every woman "Am i beautiful?" Am I loved?". Verses 12-22 and 24-27 describe a woman, who in all honesty, must be exhausted at the end of the day. Her hair, yes, is probably a mess. With all that sewing, cooking and gardening (13, 15, 16, 21, 22, 24) she probably has a band-aid or two on her fingers. She doesnt get to the end of the day and hear "thanks schnookums, see you tomorrow." She hears, in v29, exactly what she wants, no, needs to hear. "You surpass them all." "I adore you; I'm humbled by you and your faithfulness to this family. I'm indebted to you." The truth in this verse goes beyond the marriage relationship. Brothers, aspiring future kings, we (yes WE: you and me), must recognize and encourage our sisters, aspiring future queens.

.....

The italics, as you've probably noticed, are the one-sentence conclusion, in my opinion, of the verse(s) in question at that point.

Obviously, I hope it's obvious, I'm challenged by these words too. Pray for me as I pray for you (collective "you"... the biblical "you").

lastly, once again, please comment or email/call me with complaints or pointing out heresies or whatever. This stuff has been on my mind for quite some time.

"Peace be to the brothers, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace be with you all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible."

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

we are the moon.... poetically

Rays of sun fly all around
look on up or feel the ground
the moon shines not of its own
reflecting only what it's shown

we are the moon
we are the moon

the moon with no sun is a lamp with no power
we are the moon shining light thats not ours
the call is to shine through word and through deed
giving of what we've so freely received

rays of sun fly all around
look on up or feel the ground
the moon shines not of its own
reflecting only what it's shown

we are the moon
shining in dark
we are the moon
to this night we embark


Friday, July 10, 2009

we are the moon

I love when nature points me to God and the Spirit has me express it by poetry.

Tonight is a great example.

the night becomes bright
when the moon reflects the Light
the night becomes bright
when the moon reflects His light

I originally had "shines the light" at the end and I remembered that the moon shines nothing by itself. It reflects the light and power and majesty and glory of our sun, our solar systems shining star and centerpiece.

Obviously, when the light of the sun comes upon the earth, darkness hides. Darkness can't be in presence of the light. The physical realities of dark and light are metaphor of the spiritual realities of God and His angels and Satan and his minions. This reminds of my favorite name of God: "Father of lights" from James 1:17.

What I saw tonight in the sky was the moon reflecting the sun. It lit up the sky. Piercing through the scattered clouds of the night, it shone quite brightly. There was light, even in the absence of earth's true light. So it is with us and God and the world. Physically, Christ (the Light of the world, John 8:12) is not with us anymore - He went to heaven to sit at the throne with the Father almost 2000 years ago.

We are the moon.

Matthews 5:15-16a has some insight into this: "[People do not] light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, yet your light shine before others...." (emphasis added)

A few questions come to mind... a) what is "our light"? and b) how do we "let it shine"?

"Our light" to be shone is the grace and mercy and blessing and teaching and all that we receive from the Triune God.

We "let it shine" alot of ways, some of which I blogged about earlier this year under the title of "Little Children" and those that follow. Although, I think it's deeper than "showing love." All this grace and mercy and blessing and teaching, etc. that we've received should be shown back to the world - those around us - the known and unknown. When God reveals to me a truth about Himself, am I to keep it only for myself and my notebook? I surely hope not. The truth learned is to be reflected upon a roommate or a bible study or a friend or even an entire congregation. Jesus continues (in Matt 5:16) "...so that [others] may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." (emphasis added). I like the language "your Father." They are giving glory to God because of how He is my Father. How His kindness has been bestowed upon me causes others to praise. We do this all the time; we join each other in praise of God when one of us experiences the Light.

Christ has called: "let your light shine." He is our light. We are the moon, reflecting the light of God upon a place of darkness so that "others" will "give glory to" (praise!!) Him.


I'm too tired to keep writing... sorry!

Your grace...

will it catch me when i fall?
grow me when i'm small?
put a smile on this frown?
lift me when i'm down?
will it sing to my soul,
when i give up control?

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Ups and Down

grace, sweet grace
gathers those fallen

-------

hurting
so hurting
i am hurting
can't stand up

doubting
so doubting
i am doubting
won't look up

falling
so falling
i am falling
can't find up

gracious
so gracious
You are gracious
brought me up

humbled
so humbled
i am humbled
face bowed down

oh music...

Either:

a) I'm not perfect, yet a perfectionist.

b) songwriting is really, really difficult.


That being said, I'm writing some songs and I'm trying to finish them to share with the world (ok, 10 people tops) but it's freaking hard.

Also, I'm a perfectionist. I've scrapped so many songs in the last 2 years. They just didnt work. Some songs were only music, others were a chorus... a few even, whole songs with verses, bridges and choruses. But after a few days, if I'd think it's crap - poof GONE!

Anyway, welcome to the agony of 1:20am Brendan.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Little Children, part III

Ok so, 1 John is my favorite New Testament letter - many of you know this (or at least, now you do).

Any and all love that is shone / poured out from our mouths / hands is only a response and outpouring of love received. 

I find myself so often praying "to see Your love afresh." My anxiety (due to procrastination mostly) tends to blind me from this Love, which is like none other. When His love is being blocked from my heart - how am I to extend grace (read: love) to my roommate? to my friends? to the worship team? ...to myself?

We must accept the love from the Father. Feeling far from the love of God is not uncommon for sinners. Sin is the gap that, without Christ, separates us from God. "Thanks be to God... for neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing is able to separate us from the love of God - which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8, butchered from memory). We must experience his forgiveness and grace (see 1 John 1:9) inwardly and daily, in order to live it outwardly. 

Freaking chapter 4:19 "We love, because He first loved us." (NASB)

1 John 3:16-18 "We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world's goods and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children (I love when he says "little children"...it means "hey if you're sleeping - wake up - time for the point") let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth." (NASB)

James 2:15-16 "If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and be filled," and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use it that?" (NASB)

Our roommates and friends and those around us are to be treated above ourselves (see part II, below). Our time, our desires, our money - is not our own! It is for God, it is for others. (read: I am a hypocrit. Here i am talking about money and I'm the one flying to Vegas to see DMB on one hand and telling my friend in East Asia that I'm going to be late on giving him his support. I say these things because I need to hear them. please know this.)

examples of this: folding laundry, cleaning kitchens/bathrooms/living rooms, making beds, taking out trash, buying the TP, cooking breakfast/lunch/dinner for those around, offering to make starbucks runs, giving rides, verbal encouragements, hugs, speaking spiritual truth, listening.... (the list goes on)

lol, listening? really? My roommates have listened to countless rants on all sorts of things, because I need to get it out and they listen (these can last up to an hour sometimes). They serve me so much in this way. 

to continue, sometimes those around us don't know what they need. Or they know it, but feel like its unattainable. For example, I have a friend and he sometimes (read: always) overbooks himself. We've chatted about this a few times, but this is a life lesson (I think, unfortunately) best learned the hard way.  This doesnt stop me from trying to help him. So today, "Hey bud - we're taking a break. Let's go hike bishops on monday after the crazy weekend." Although to me, it seems like another thing on his list, he was all over it and admitted to me (and himself) it was necessary.  (that was a long story to get to the point and I apologize.)

Last point: don't be afraid to receive love.  I am not perfect and you are not perfect. When a brother or sister wants to show love, why not allow them? (of course, this is within reason, just like our love to give must be in reason). 

Let Paul speak to us as he did to Titus and the church in Crete to be "sensible" (2:2, 5, 6, 12) and to be "sound in love" (2:2) and to be "zealous for good deeds" (2:14).

 ...thats all for now :)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Little Children, part II

Yeah, this should be with the last post...

Paul (of course) understood what it meant to "Love your neighbor as yourself" (see lower post) and to "love one another as I have loved you" (Jesus, John 13:34, paraphrase)

Philippians 2:2-4

...make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interesets, but also for the interests of others.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Little children, love another.

I don't understand the love of my Savior. 

#1. I can and do love my roommates readily because they are my roommates. I'd do most anything for them. 

#2. I can and do love my friends, as long as it doesnt interfere with #1

#3. I can love and sometimes do love those not in #1 or #2. 


On Wednesday at Crusade, Jamey hit it on the head - I look around and say to myself "gee Brendan, living by #1 and #2 is ahead of most people. You're doing great!" Sadly though, I find that in the absence of perceived love returned, I stop serving/giving joyfully, but out of precedent and that "well I should do this" part of the noggin. 

Christ died for all. Knowing that some would ignore it, He still died. Those whom He loved as friends were died for as much as those who scoffed at Him. Returned love was not a requirement for the pouring out of His own love.  (but even as I type this... what about when he went to Nazareth and was rejected?)

I heard a pastor say once that when the "disciple whom Jesus loved" (John) was very old and brought to the congregation to teach, he would speak of love (1 John anyone?). He would say something like "Little children (John was older than everyone), if we love one another, we are doing something right" (dont hold me to that quote, but same idea). 

What does it look like to "love another" as John speaks? I think of this: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. " There is a heirarchy there:

1) God
2) Others (not just friends... see the parable of the good Samaritan)
2 (not a typo)) self 

How is love shown? Time, money, prayers, quality time, service... As we give these things on (and dare I say, "as we love...") ourselves - we are to the same for others. Quite the calling indeed.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Spring

Spring oh Spring:
makes everything green.
Green oh green!
What a lovely Spring!

The wind moves a million shoots of grass beautifully
Waves of air surfed by nature bring forth life

Scattered clouds shade patches of rolling hills
Rows of flowers shine under morning sun

Sun breaks through,
Light, cool breeze,
bright green hue:
Spring.

(I'm unsettled on this last part, poetically)

Rains poured out
Clouds said "bye"
...Time to sprout
Spring.




....happy Easter!!!

Awake.
Blue Sky.
Bright Sun.
He is risen. 

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Veil Was Broken

Sorry for the delay, I started the upload at 10:30 last night and at 12:30 it wasn't done and I got sleepy...

It's said in Matthew 27:

"And behold, the veil of the temple was in two from top to bottom; and the earth shook and the rocks were split" (v51)

This is a little diddy i started about 10 months ago and never settled on the lyrics. Well, as of right now, I like what they are. It's likely to change again...

Lyrics:

Oh it hid there, not to be seen
But once a year, if you were clean.
The high preist - if he was clean.
would go to place, (that) remains unseen

Oh He hung there, up on His tree.
The wise men wondered, how could it be?
How could it be? I don't know
That when He died, what did they see?

The earth was shakin and it came down.
The earth was quakin, (it) fell to the ground
It came onto, to the ground

The veil was broken, each and ev'ry thread.
The veil was broken; we should be dead.
It came onto, to the ground.
The presence of God is all around

But His presence, now dwells within,
For with His death, He conquered sin!

The veil was broken.
Ev'ry thread.
The veil was broken. 
We should be dead.


Friday, April 10, 2009

Good Friday

Hello!

Ok so, I have another song coming... tomorrow I think. It will be appropriate (this i also think).

*scurries to grab guitar*

Friday, March 20, 2009

See and Now Believe


Last year, during Spring Break, I wrote this little song. Saturday night before Easter I started writing a poem about what (i think) it was like for Thomas: his doubts and his interactions with Christ after the resurrection. Sunday morning at Cornerstone Church (Livermore, CA), Pastor Steve was sharing about Thomas and the reality of doubt. I came home psyched and suddenly my poem had chords and evolved into this song. I might finish the poem one day and post it... I've attached the verses (John 20:19-31 NASB) and a YouTube with the song. :)

19 So when it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and when the doors were shut where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, "Peace be with you."
20 And when He had said this, He showed them both His hands and His side The disciples then rejoiced when they saw the Lord. 
21 So Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you; as the Father has sent Me, I also send you." 
22 And when He had said this, He breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. 
23 "If you forgive the sins of any, their sins have been forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they have been retained." 
24 But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came. 
25 So the other disciples were saying to him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see in His hands the imprint of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe." 
26 After eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors having been shut, and stood in their midst and said, "Peace be with you." 
27 Then He said to Thomas, "Reach here with your finger, and see My hands; and reach here your hand and put it into My side; and do not be unbelieving, but believing." 
28 Thomas answered and said to Him, "My Lord and my God!" 
29 Jesus said to him, "Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed." 
30 Therefore many other signs Jesus also performed in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; 
31 but these have been written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name.




Lyrics:

"Peace with you" He says to me;
Do my eyes play (a) fool of me?
My doubting heart says it cant be,
The One who takes my sin?

Thomas, My son, do not doubt today!
For its you, I've come to save.
In this quiet room, 
Do you now believe?
That I died to set you free!

Do His hands have holes so wide?
A gash that gapes there from His side?
Do I doubt whats standing there,
Right in front of me?

Thomas, My son, do not doubt today!
For its you, I've come to save.
In this quiet room, 
Do you now believe?
That I died to set you free!

My faith - it is adrift;
My fingers - they must sift,
Through the hands of Him who died.
Of Him who died, of Him who died
I watched Him die, I watched Him die.
How can it be? How can it be?
He's standing in front of me - 

Thomas, My son, do not doubt today!
For its you, I've come to save.
See now and believe.
Touch! I dont deceive.
Now call the nations to My praise!


Wednesday, February 18, 2009









Hello Blog!

Two things today...

ONE: The garden is LOVING the rain!

Here are Daffodils #2 and #3. More on the way. These currently sit on my desk. The tulips rise a little bit more every day; I'm a bit worried they are getting TOO much water! (my mother says its fine though.)

TWO: I have started "Clouds".... here is what I have so far:

both grey and white
simultaneous
dark and bright
bring forth rain
throughout the night
blockade the sun
stealing its light

crash boom crack
lightning strikes back
thunder resounds
its' rumbles abound

These are way fun - particularly when the poems get more attention than my senior project and other things that graduation hinges on.

When I have time to blog about serious things, that will happen too... after March 5th i think.


Friday, February 13, 2009

sharing a goodie.

This song has been on my mind for awhile (weeks), it's called "Walk the World" by Charlie Hall (Give Us Clean Hands, Center, Marvelous Light, etc.). 

The chorus is uber sweet:

Let my life shine,
Come and let my heart shine
As we walk the world, 
we lift the bread and wine

Like the stars shine,
come and let our hearts shine.
In a dark world,
We lift the bread and wine.



first blog + poem

I like to write; many people dont know this. Write what? Poems, essays, songs, rambles, anything really about random stuff (random stuff = Christian things and nature things mostly, and alot of the time, they go together). Sometimes they are silly, other times they are serious - or somewhere in between. I tried to blog once, but I failed horribly.

anyway, here's the latest poem:

Hail

there's none like it;
i find it quite swell.
ice in the sky,
failing to melt.
hitting the ground,
bouncing to and fro,
little pitter-patters,
too dense to be snow.